Last one before I go

What does one do with the last four days before leaving the country for a few months? What gets priority? Packing? Personal reflection? Parties?

Who is the priority? 

Friends?

 (Paul Queen- since high school)

(Mona- since college)

Family?

(John- my brother)

(Dad and Kay-my stepmom)

(You may notice that i just got a new camera. I hope it helps with this whole staying-in-touch thing! p.s. Nikon helps to offset about 2 tons of carbon dioxide for every person who buys the S52 Eco-Green...cool)

The truth is, I don't really have many answers right now. I love you all a whole lot! There's no way to choose.  It's all coming pretty fast. I feel weird telling people "oh, yeah, I'm going to Guatemala on Saturday for the semester, and I'll come home for the summer. Then I'm going to Africa for next school year. Kenya, Uganda, and South Africa." It feels like the conversation should be more in-depth than that, but it rarely goes further than the "wow" that follows my statement. 

People ask about why I'm going, or what all this means, and truly, I'd love to give an answer. I try, but none ever suffices. A part of me wishes I could give a great answer to the meaning of my journey. Many people tell me how great it is going to be. No offense to them, but when I softly respond "Yeah, I bet," what I'm really thinking is "how could you, or I, or anyone know what it's going to be like?" I'm glad you've got those hopes for me. The overwhelming part of me concerning this new beginning wants nothing to do with expectations or projections of what it's going to be like, and yet I write this big blog and try to squeeze the meaning out of every part of my life. 

Sorry I can't answer the question of "why?" for people, but inside I'm glad that it's unknown. That means there's room for the Holy Spirit to work. This is the central reason that I don't want to define things or have some formula. It's important to me to make plans that allow room for the Spirit. A lot of my busy distractions this past semester seemed to give me a bit more control, and I saw clearly what that was like. 

Enough of the sad stuff. On to some random thoughts. I've been talking with a few friends recently who didn't know I was blogging before I leave. I wondered if a lot of people thought that. If so, I guess people will have a bit to read the first time they take a look. Also, did anyone out there know Br. Dietrich very well? I didn't really know him at all, and it'd be really cool if you could leave some fond memories of him in a comment to this post. Another thing is that I've been told that I should journal in spanish down in Guatemala. As it turns out, a lot of people reading this blog don't know spanish. Weird! right? As I'm keeping up with this down there, I may start writing in spanish. This is my apology in advance. Good luck! Also, I've had a really great time wrestling with my step-sister's (Megan) husky, Phoenix. She likes to bite, but she is fun. I'm almost embarrasses to admit that I haven't enjoyed pets until recently, but I'm glad to say that I'm enjoying them a lot now! Oh and I'm starting to run. Wheeee....

Finally, I want to tell all of you that you are in my heart and prayers. I'm glad a few people have been keeping in touch already, and I hope to hear from more of you. Have a great New Year's celebration and rest of the week. I'll write from Guate as soon as I can. I love you all so much!

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"

Okay everybody, this is the part where I start posting more regularly!

Calm your cheering! I know, I'm excited too. :)

I've been telling many people that the next thing I will post is my mailing address. Here it is:

Chris Morgan

c/o Celas Maya

6a Calle 14-55 Zona 1

Quetzaltenango, Guatemala

Celas Maya is the language school that I will be attending. Apparently, it's more reliable to send things there rather than to my host family. Also, something to note is that you shouldn't send packages that are more than 6 pounds (cough, cough...;) ) because they won't make it through customs. 

Also, Quetzaltenango is better known as Xela. That's the name i'll be using. Get used to it. :)

Also, here is my current itinerary in case anyone was that interested:

Jan. 3- airplane from Denver to Guatemala City

Jan. 5- Phase 1 begins (Celas Maya, individual spanish instruction, 5 hours/day)

Jan. 16-18- Excursion to Antigua

Feb. 6- Phase 1 ends

Feb. 7-14- Week-long excursion to Coban and Tikal

Feb. 16- Phase 2 begins (5 hrs/wk @ Celas Maya, 2 classes: Liberation Theology & Guatemalan Cosmovisión)

Feb. 27 to Mar. 1- Excursion to San Cristóbal, Mexico

Mar. 19-22- Excursion to Lago de Atitlán

Apr. 3-13- Holy Week (no classes)

May 1- the semester ends

May 2-17- personal travel

May 18- flight to Denver (maybe?)

Enough of the info. I have a few reflections:

Finishing semesters is tough. I know many people have this experience. Elements of the end of my semester included: gobs of papers (zero in-class finals), saying bye (kinda) to people, applying for admission to the Catholic University of Eastern Africa (CUEA) and Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University (NMMU), applying twice to the CSB/SJU external study abroad program, writing and revising a resume and cover letters to apply for a summer job, ABE work, selling enough of my things so that I didn't have to take them home, and packing the rest into my car with the belongings of two other people. 

Part of me doesn't like the continual contest we take part in during the end of the semester to see who has it the toughest. I always catch my self participating in it, and it makes me wonder if that's the best thing we can do to help one another. I've never been good at finishing semesters. Thanks to everyone who helped me. :) 

As for that car ride home to denver, that was quite the experience! I stayed up all night on wednesday night. I started packing my room at midnight, packed my car starting at 3 am, picked up Becca Haas and Kate Westlund by around 5:30, repacked my car in the -10 degree morning, and was on the road at 6:36 am. Then I decided it would be a good idea to drink a rockstar espresso and energy drink. Bad news bears! What a horrible experience that was! I had to stop driving and felt like puking for the morning. Later on, I felt better and we hit this huge storm in Nebraska. Snow, darkness, freezing rain, fog (i think?), white-out, and us immaging crazy things in our tiredness. After 20 hours, we got home safely, and it took me about two days to recover. 

The struggle of the trip home paralleled my struggle to finish this semester. It goes back to my first post as well, but I thought it was fitting to have a tough drive home. It felt good to overcome the obstacles on the way home

Since I've been home, I've appreciated it more than I ever have, and I'm not sure why. I felt the most comfortable when I went to church with my parents. I really love that place. 

I took my brother to work on Monday because his car is broken. I'm glad we're talking more. I know I'll have to have a lot of patience rebuilding that relationship, since we barely talked throughout high school. I want to look up to him and learn from him. 

I met with my priest to see if he could find any donors who would like to sponsor me on my journey. I wrote a letter and attached a detailed budget of about $20,000. Whew! That's how much my year in Africa will cost. I know it's a lot, and I don't expect him to find that much, but I trust that God will provide me with whatever is best. I'll be starting on a number of scholarship applications in the coming days. I'm always doing something...

Last night, I spent some time with my best friend from high school, Paul. I'm really glad we can catch up so quickly. He's a great person, and his family is great! We're going to make some Motorcycle Diaries some day.

I recently got emailed by my host mother in Guatemala, Lily. I was so excited that I got the same host family as Chanti had this past  year. It's comforting to know a little bit of what it will be like. Chanti is pretty incredible as well, and it's good to have something like that to talk with her about. 

So if you're still actually reading all of this, thanks! I know it's a lot. I think I know myself well enough that my posts will always be long, but I'm probably going to put the more meaningful things down here for the people who actually care to read the whole post. Or you could just cheat. Don't feel guilty or anything...

Anyway, I want to begin to explain something about myself that I have a hard time explaining well. The gist of it is that an extraordinary amount of care rests within me for other people. The problem is that I don't know how to give justice to it. I try my best to show it, but most of the time, there aren't ways to express what I want to. Basically, I feel like God has placed a glimmer of His love and care inside of me, and it overflows (obviously...). If I've ever shown love to you or care or anything else good, it has come from this. If anyone has ever experienced anything good in me or from me, it is truly because God has worked through me to make that happen. I know this because when I try to show love and care, it is always insufficient. I continually try to show people the love that I know God has for them. More on this later. I love you all!

Please enjoy your Christmas everyone! You'll find it in the people you're around. Make sure you don't miss it. Keep in touch, you'll hear from me soon!

Not trying to be too epic with the title

I guess I could explain a bit. People seem to have that stereotype of the kid trying to save the world that always comes with a less-than-optimistic "you can't do it," or "it's too big for you, just one little person." I seem to fit some of the other things that go along with the rest of that stereotype and wanted to get it out of the way from the beginning. It's not that any of you would judge me like that. I wanted to state a bit of my mindset going on this coming journey. 

I was recently part of an incredible book club reading John Francis' book Planetwalker. Look up his story if you care to. It's easy to find. Anyway, at one point in the book, he spends a lot of time trying to convince his dad that he(John) was going to change the world by not riding in cars and not talking, but his dad leaves and John is still frustrated. Then he puts forth a reflection on changing/saving the world. He says something to the effect that he realized that he couldn't change the world, but he could change himself. In changing himself, he saw that the world around him would strive to understand him and his actions. This is where I got the second part of the title of this blog. 

I hope for this to be one way to journal as well as a way to let you beautiful people in on my life. I really do want to hear from people, no matter how little it is! I would really like this blog to be a conversation of sorts rather than just a dictation of the events of my life. I understand my idealism in this and that not everyone has the time to send something.

On a side note, I feel so odd about being in a similar situation as graduating seniors, being that I will not see most of my current CSB/SJU friends for quite a long time. I would love to see everyone and tell you all how much you mean to me. I cannot guarantee anything, but do please call or email me. I continue to be ever so grateful for all the people in my life. Previously in my life, a "see ya later" (not a goodbye!) hadn't been so hard. This one will be and already is.

Also, I have to enter this disclaimer: I have never and will never claim to be any kind of decent writer. Tell me about the things you want to hear more about or the things you could do without! Keep in mind that I take criticism well. I don't want to be boring because I know I could drone on for lines about my experience, and I don't want to have to make you sift through all the stuff you don't want to read just to read something you do. . . maybe my dad will be the only one to read my blog and all this worry won't matter! ha :)

I love you all, so much!

From frustrating beginnings

In this early morning, I start this blog for hope. I start it from a deep frustration with many things around myself and within my world. I write in the hope that it will be transformative for myself. I also start this because it brings me that much closer to my travels in the coming months and years. Guatemala, Kenya, Uganda, and South Africa are my goal, for now. These are what keep me going now. The possibility of these experiences brings me comfort, meaning and motivation. 

Please, join me for the journey! I know that I'll need you, and maybe you'll find that you need me too.

More on this later. Do take care of yourself!